Dinner Jokes
by Cryztalix
Summary: The Five and Po sit at the dinner table attempting to crack jokes...  ...keyword was 'attempting'...  THIS might explain why Tigress rarely jokes with them...


Yo! Cryztalix here…again and I got another story for y'all!

So read and review it please!

Furious Fools!

Laughter was heard from the kitchen as the Furious Five and the Dragon Warrior were eating after a long day of practice.

"And so I said, 'Yo momma so fat, she has her own ZIPCODE!'" Mantis told his latest tale of when he confronted some ghetto guy.

"So then what happened?" Crane asked.

"….he shot me." Mantis replied.

"OH! OH! I GOT ONE!" Po stood up, " Who is THIS?" He put two plates up behind his ears.

Everyone stared at Po.

"Let me guess…" Tigress said sarcastically, having seen that joke a MILLION times before. "Is it Shifu?"

Po groaned. "Auuhhh…she got it….again."

"I 'got it', because you use the same joke- everyday!" Tigress complained.

"C'mon Tigress….lighten up a bit, will ya?" Po inquired.

She muttered to herself, "I'll lighten up once you lose some weight…"

Monkey stood up, "I got a joke!" he exclaimed.

Everyone listened in.

"Okay, there was a wolf, a bear, and a rabbit…or was it a sheep…" he started thinking out loud.

Viper sighed, "Oh Monkey….you've been working on that joke for three weeks now, give it a rest!"

"NO! This joke is my PRIDE!" He snapped.

"Well it seems like your pride is 'species challenged'." Crane said.

Monkey sighed in defeat.

"One day…just not today…"

"STUDENTS! I'VE GOT IMPORTANT NEWS!" Master Shifu burst through the kitchen doors.

The Five and Po had been caught off guard and bowed in respect to him.

"Well, what's the news?" Po asked.

Shifu straightened himself out.

"It brings me great pleasure to announce….that I'M GETTING MARRIED!"

Mantis froze.

Viper gasped.

Crane's beak fell open, with a 'creak' sound.

Monkey fell off his chair.

Po's eyes twitched.

…and Tigress, who was drinking some water, spit all of it out at Po…..who didn't even seem to notice it.

Shifu sat there.

"Well students….aren't you happy for me?"

Everyone was quiet, except Viper, who just decided to accept the facts and go with the flow.

"Y-Yes Master! I'm so….uh….proud!...I think…." She stated, nervously.

Mantis shrugged it off saying, "Eh…I guess anyone these days can 'get some' now…" Viper smacked Mantis.

Crane chuckled half-heartedly and said "I knew you had it in ya!"

Monkey, who was still on the ground, just lifted his hand and gave him a 'thumbs up.'

Po ran up to Shifu and gave him a bear hug.

"MAN OH MAN! WOW!" He set his master down.

Tigress choked on her water and spit it at Po….again.

"So…." Viper said. "What's her name?"

Everyone stared at Shifu.

He chuckled and said, "Well, she's a real sophisticated lady…"

Crane and Mantis whistled.

"..and her name is April."

Viper grinned even wider, "Tee-hee! April- who, master?"

Shifu smirked at this.

The students leaned in.

"Heh-heh, well, April….."

The students leaned closer…

"…FOOLS!"

And with that, Shifu burst into laughter and rolling on the ground.

The Furious Five and Po sat there…dumbstruck.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Shifu roared.

"…uh…Master…" Po said…."It's the middle of June."

Shifu stopped laughing, and stared back at his students.

"W-what?"

"…it's JUNE." Mantis repeated what Po had said.

Shifu just stared at his students. "…It is?"

And with that, everyone fell out of their chair laughing their heads off while their master just grumbled in embarrassment and stomped off muttering something about 'stupid Comedy Central…'

After everyone seemed to have regained their composer, Po had stated, 'WHEW! I can't believe it! That was PRICELESS!"

"Yeah!" Viper said.

Everyone continued laughing….except for Tigress, she was actually quiet throughout the ENTIRE scene.

Viper waved her tail in front of Tigress. "Uh…Tigress….you okay?"

"Maybe she suffered from trauma cuz of the fact that Shifu actually TOLD A JOKE." Mantis stated.

Tigress sat there and twitched.

"…He…..TOLD A JOKE!" She exclaimed. "He DOES HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!" And with that, Tigress took another chug of water and spat it in Po's face.

"AUGH! Tigress!" Po groaned. "What'd ya keep doing that for?"

Tigress looked at him and stated dryly, "That's my way of 'lightening-up a bit'."

The entire table gasped.

Master Tigress had just told a JOKE TOO!

"EVACUATE THE VILLAGE!" Mantis yelled. Everyone ran out of the kitchen, leaving Tigress sitting at the table, all by herself, looking clueless.

"….oh well, looks like there's more food for me then, I guess."

She looked at the table and noticed that everyone took their food with them.

*Le sigh*

*Face-palm*

The End

Read and Review or I will….do stuff…


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